I dont get the marilyn monroe hype. Sure she wasnt a size 2 and she did what she wanted but that included playing stupid and being a homewrecker. Why would you want to idolize someone who hid their smarts and disguised their looks for fame? Someone who changed who they were to be known as a sexpot tart? I dont get it… you dont have any admirable women to look up to?
I still very much feel like the ugly duckling. Not quite sure of where life is headed, silently forgotten about by those i regard as close, not seen by those right in front of me… i know im no great communicator and i wont lie and say i do my best but the reptitive cycle i go through with friends is exhausting. The closest always leave, the physically close seem to put me im the closet until ready for use. It makes me want to cut off everyone but i know thats not smart. Ive been through patches such as these before, i guess its just time for another fresh start. A new state would be cool to go alomg with that, a new environment. Somewhere i can forget about all of this….
Until then…i guess i stick to my routines for distraction
guys have all the fun. all the extra sports attention when they’re young. football camps, basketball camps….no periods. not that i’ve seen one in a while. It’s gonna suck when I have to stop this shot. smh. (sorry for being so uncommonly open there…). hair do’s and appointments (i’m locking my hair as soon as I feel confident enough to do it) and the pressure of having kids.
Look, i’m 27 and single with no relationship in sight. I know why I’m single. I’m picky, I’m awfully particular about my space and how much ppl talk to me or bother me, I simply don’t care for the noise. I’m selfish and most of all, my relationship with God isn’t exactly where it could be. I know I’m constantly working on it but excuses excuses right? what makes thing worse is I actually want some male companionship. i get bored or lets be honest, lonely and a girlfriend won’t cut it. and then I keep hearing “you better start having babies within the next five years”. at least once a week. why must i start having babies? I’m not ready for babies! and the sad part is, they’re right! If i did have babies and waited too long, I’d be 60 before they got out of my house!
Babies aside, I need to do my part because clearly, I’m not. Just another thing to add to the forever changing self improvement list.
I don’t know Jonathan Martin. He’s biracial. He was apparently smart enough to qualify for entry into Harvard. He’s huge and athletic. He strikes me as someone ripe to struggle with his identity.
The Dolphins tagged him the “Big Weirdo.” The Dolphins held up Richie Incognito as the ultimate role model for offensive linemen. Incognito was a Pro Bowler. He was a member of the six-man leadership council. It makes perfect sense for a kid like Martin to befriend Incognito and try to fit in. I’m sure they were best friends, for a time. I’m sure Incognito offered Martin physical protection on the football field. It’s standard operating procedure for a prison-yard bully to cultivate a relationship that is equal parts fear, love and disrespect. It’s how you turn a guy out and make him grab your belt loop.
Martin was confused. He probably thought the bullying and hazing would pass after his rookie season. He wanted to fit in and make it in the NFL. The paycheck is incredible. He tried to laugh off the abuse and disrespect. He participated in it. He coughed up $15,000 for a trip to Las Vegas he didn’t want to take.
Finally he snapped. He wasn’t raised to be a full-blown idiot. He was raised to think and solve problems with his mind. He was savvy enough to figure out a physical confrontation with Incognito was a no-win situation. It wouldn’t curb Incognito’s behavior or change the culture inside the Miami locker room. It would confirm it. In order to win the fight, Martin would have to physically harm Incognito. It would not be a one-punch or two-punch fight.
Martin walked. If the entry fee to being an NFL offensive lineman is adopting the mindset of Incognito and Pouncey, Martin wisely chose not to pay it. He has a developed brain and a supportive family unit. He’s not desperate. He has options. People with limited options and no family support may not understand or respect his decision. That’s on them and illustrates the vast impact of Mass Incarceration and Hurricane Illegitimacy.
It’s now time for Roger Goodell to render a verdict on wardens Ireland and Philbin and Cell Block D leader Incognito. The world is so upside down that I half expect Goodell to suspend Martin for conduct detrimental to American idiocy.
One would assume a true friend would never try to change you. Maybe expose you to something new every once in a while, but not take you out of “your world”. One would assume this friend may encourage a change if necessary, but not make it their mission to change everything around you…..
Guess I shouldn’t assume…
Guess you were never a true friend…